sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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