No awkward lesbian experiences without me
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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