Your face is a jimmy john
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize