I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
