Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
