3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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