if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
