and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
