I swear she didn't look like that last week.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I touched a dick in church today
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
