why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
3pm strippers are depressing
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
