TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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