The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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