Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize