Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
