He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
