I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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