Well douche your snatch and let's go!
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize