He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
