I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
