Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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