I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
