i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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