miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
