I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize