fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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