Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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