I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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