Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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