VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
