i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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