wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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