Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
