youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
