he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
tell me about the fingering
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