Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
