I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
My cat gives me a boner
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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