similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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