Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Everclear isn't food dammit
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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