im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
