If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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