I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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