I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize