She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
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