how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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