I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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