Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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