You can't motorboat a personality
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
