weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
