Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
