WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize