i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
