she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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