It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
