Im at strip club and am horny
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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