She said her name was "party"
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
