Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
