I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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